Comments on: Friend wants to have kids in future but boyfriend doesnt?

By: kalsmom

kalsmom — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 10:26:25 +0000

He’s not going to change with time. If you seriously want children, you need to think about investing your time into a relationship with someone that has the same goals as you. Otherwise, there will only be heartbreak in your future.

By: kittyrat234b

kittyrat234b — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 18:42:16 +0000

He won’t change his mind. This is the age old syndrome that we women all face – “I can change him.”

You can’t. You won’t.

She has to decide if she wants him and no children or someone else and children.

If she has children by some secret means after they are married, she has to realize that he may leave and that it is a really bad thing to have sneaking or deceiving in a marriage which it sounds like is the only way that she is going to have children.

In my opinion, she should find someone who is more like-minded.

By: pinkcloud2015

pinkcloud2015 — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 13:44:26 +0000

if she really feels like having her own child sheshold have before its too late. otherwise shell start regretting it once shes old. its not like having your own child i tell you..
he already has 2 children on his own but your friend has none ..
but your friend wioll have to choose either of this: to not to have children and to live with him or to dump him and go and have children with somebody else…really hard decsion

good luck

By: mommyof2

mommyof2 — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 13:33:32 +0000

If its important to you then you will have to move on and fast! dont waste more time with him. You dont have the same goals in your life. I know its hard but you deserve to be with someone who wants the same things out of life.

By: texas_angel_wattitude

texas_angel_wattitude — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 06:44:07 +0000

If you dont want to leave him and he doesnt want kids then you need to change your mind about having kids. When a couple has different views on having children it never works out. And if you stayed with him and always brought up the subject of kids you’d either end up drivingh im away or pressuring him into something he does not want. Anyone that tells you to wait and see if his views will change are basically telling you to spend your whole life wondering if you will have the children you have always wanted with this man. Find a man who shares your same views in regards to having kids or give up all hopes of having any and those are really your own two choices. Atleast you found out now prior to being married that he does not want anmore

By: adoptive mom

adoptive mom — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 18:35:56 +0000

I think if she really doesn’t want to leave him over this, she needs to change her mind about having children of her own. (And if he’s really sure he wants no more, perhaps he should be looking into a vasectomy, just to be sure.)
I do agree, however, with everyone who said it’s time for her to move on. It’s hard to change your mind on something like that. If they don’t have agreement on something so basic and important, they aren’t a good match.

By: Jay

Jay — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 09:10:08 +0000

One of two things will happen, if you get married.

One of you will change their mind.

Neither of you will.

In the second case, this can cause major friction in the marriage. And, sorry for you (your friend), but NOT having a kid is safer idea than having a kid, if there is a disagreement. It’s immoral, in my opinion, to have a child that you don’t want.

Don’t rely on one of you changing your mind. It could happen, but don’t count on it.

If you’re (your friend) are not willing to give up the idea of having a child, now (at least before you get married), then it may be time to move on.

By: brightasdayna

brightasdayna — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 01:49:46 +0000

If she honestly wants children of her own and he doesn’t, then kick him to the curb and show him what he’s missing out on.

By: danili

danili — Sat, 30 May 2009 16:06:57 +0000

you need to make a decision and fast. nothing kills a relationship faster then when one person thinks they can change the others mind. I am in a similar situation, I don’t want kids and my boyfriend does. I told him straight out, this is what i want. i don’t want him to think that 5years from now i’ll change my mind. you shouldn’t disallusion yourself to think that 5years from now he’ll change his mind. sometimes two people who seem great for eachother have to come to the realization that they don’t want the same things out of life. the sooner you realize this, the faster you can get on with your life and perhaps finding a perfect someone who does want what you want.

By: Carp

Carp — Sat, 30 May 2009 09:46:42 +0000

Sorry, but this is a show stopper.

Either someone will cave in and ultimately be unhappy, ruining the relationship, and adding another child with divorced parents to an already screwed world

They can split up now and find more suitable partners.